I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
