My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't watch enough power rangers
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize