IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
