just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
