I swear she didn't look like that last week.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize