Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Still dying that you shit outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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