I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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