I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
