You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
