Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
handjob tips. give me some.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
