Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you didnt know i had herpes?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
