is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
