Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
