Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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