this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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