I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
