I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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