well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
