It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
