he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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