She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
