we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
