At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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