apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize