Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I booty called her while she was in labor.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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