i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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