I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
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We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
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ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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