I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Be still, my beating vagina.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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