i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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