i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
