i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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