Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
