he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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