Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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