Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
