I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
