I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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