So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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