Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
