GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Randomize
