mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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