I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
