so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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