So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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