based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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