I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
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Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
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Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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