well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
