she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
