Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
