If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugly people sure do ruin things
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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