I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
