I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
