They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
