ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I am one with the molecules
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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