forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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