Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
