I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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